The alarm buzzed the third time when I slammed my finger on the stop button. I woke up groggier than usual, gravitating automatically to the washroom. The acidic minty freshness woke me up as I brushed with the same pace as routinely taught past three decades. I yawned as I looked out of the window at the sun. It seemed awkwardly still. As if someone hit pause on it. It stood there for five long minutes. Motionless as a painting. Odd.
I step out of the bedroom and I notice two strangers in the living room talking to Mom and Dad. The man with silver hair turned around on the couch to look at me, as did the woman accompanying him. They both stood up and shot plastic smiles. Eyes with no warmth, yet there seemed to exist desperate attempts to look so. The corner of her eye was twitching since the muscles weren't in their natural state.
It alarmed me that no one in the room was wearing a mask. My body went a bit stiff. Two months of isolation taught me to have this reaction to strangers sans masks.
"Hi! It's so good to finally meet you", she spoke across the room. "Hey" I might've replied. I quickly looked over to my parents. They walked towards me and asked me to speak with them. Mom spoke in hushed Malayalam, even though there was no hidden information in what she said. While I was walking towards them, Dad gave me a pat on the back. I quickly turned around. I asked him about the pat with my eyes. He just gave me his kind warm smile. Though I could see his eyes glistening a bit.
I walked to the living room and surveyed the both of them up close. Both of them were still smiling. Unsettlingly placid smiles.
I pointed at my face and asked, "Masks?"
The man spoke, "Oh that won't be necessary n-". He had a thick British accent. Though he stopped mid sentence as the woman shot a glance at him."Not necessary for now!", he switched to an Indian accent. Both the accents didn't seem to fit.
So the pandemic was over? Why were these two so weird? Who were they? Am I still dreaming? Is this how I would normally act in a situation like this?
"Please have a seat". She asks me to share the long couch as she sat at the other end of it. The man was still standing with his hands in his pockets. The unwavering smile still plastered on his face.
"I'm Gab and this is Col. Now I know they don't sound like names, but these are the names we've been allotted."
"But you know, you can Col me whatever you want.", Col said as he let out an hollow laugh. I felt an increasing wave of discomfort as I looked back at my parents. They walked to their room and shut the door.
"Well that should mark the 600th time I'm hearing that line", Gab turned to smile at me as she took out a notepad. "I'd just like to ask you some questions if you don't mind."
"Can you tell me who you people are?"
"Ah well we're from the agency. And we're just doing a routine survey, the details of which you'll get to know soon."
"What agency?"
"The Agency. That's it. You'll get to know the details pretty soon."
"I hope this isn't for the stupid pandemic tracking app thing?"
Gab laughed. Her laugh seemed more genuine, but mostly just because it felt less robotic. "I assure you it's not that."
She paused and stared at me for a bit and continued, "So as per our reports, it says here that you had a bout of sickness around March 10th, is that right?"
"I don't remember the date exactly, but yeah it was roughly around that period". They didn't look very convinced so I added, "But It wasn't corona. I got it checked and well...here I am." I did a mock cough and laughed. They didn't flinch. Why was I acting so...fine with all this?
"All right, all right. And so the fever subsided in two days, right?"
"Yeah, I almost woke up fresh the morning after. I remember the wave of relief pretty clearly, so yeah."
"So nothing unusual about the morning?"
I looked at the both of them. I didn't know what to expect. It all seemed to surreal. The situation. I was just playing along. As if it was a play, and I was given a blank page for a script.
"Nothing...unusual no. But It was a couple of months back."
Gab looked at Col, nodded and then looked back at me.
"And since then you've been in this house? You've not gone outdoors or met anyone?"
"I actually know the gravity of the situation of this pandemic fairly well. Not met a single soul apart from my folks here". I felt nervous. I let out a strained laugh, but it faded out before it began. Gab went back to checking boxes on her notepad when I blurted, "I guess I don't know what outside feels like anymore."
Both of them suddenly looked at me. Their smiles faded. Gab put one back on. "Oh, well. All right."
She coughed and came a bit closer.
"So look, there's no better way to say this. So I'm not going to beat around the bush. The thing is...you passed away on the 10th of March. You've been in a state of stasis since then. I won't call it a coma but..."
She still spoke. But all I could hear was muffled speech. The heart rate shot up as a sudden wave of delirium washed over. The vertigo came next. All the signs of how a person hit with shocking news would react in movies. I was just reacting, not doing. I was probably just playing the part.
And then it all came back. In a fraction of second. I was perfectly fine.
"...and I guess the last three sentences must've been a blur so it'd be better if you could read this.". She said as she handed me a brochure.
I was a long white card with 'The Stallers Initiative' written in an uber-thin font. There was nothing else on the page. The page inside was just a wall of really tiny text. The ones you spot on the terms and conditions page which screams of "you don't need to read this".
Gab cleared her throat, "So we've been having some problems with people post death where they -"
"Did you just say post death?"
"Ummm yeah. We actually call it deallocation. So there's a gap between deallocation and release which we've found is a really tough time for our subjects". She seemed a bit distraught for using the last word.
"This place is sort of close to what you might call Purgatory. Although that'd still be a cheap approximation before..."
"Garbage collection?", Col looked at Gab. Gab stared at Col, as he took two steps back and resigned on the other couch.
"This transition period can be really tough. And we know that. And that's why we started the Stallers Initiative where you could find your own space. Create your own allocated space till the time of full release? The pandemic episode was a preset program that facilitated with reduced interactions as a means of smoother transition."
It was all clear at that moment. I understood everything. I felt like I was in total control. I felt everything was me. Like I was one.
Gab noticed the change on my face. Like she knew of my enlightenment. She stood up. So did Col.
"We're still in the nascent stages of the Initiative, so you might run into some issues. I'd suggest you read the rules thoroughly on the card. It's still a draft right now though. So please do tell us where we can improve."
I flipped the card back again as I noticed the first line Please do not use recursion. It was a wave of awkward realization when I got to know that I'm experiencing and writing this |